Motivation.

So, here's the deal....

When Chris called me from work a few months ago telling me how he felt like he was literally going to die within the next twelve months I knew something needed to happen.  His diabetes has been completely out of control for too long.  It had begun impacting all his nerves and joints and just the slight brush of even fabric to knees caused excruciating pain.

Before you start throwing around judgment let me just say this....
If you are one of the few who have never dealt with an ongoing illness you can't begin to understand what happens mentally and, for that matter, physically.  It's very difficult to wrap your mind around something like diabetes.  We all know that Type 2 Diabetes is completely preventable and potentially curable, however, for so many with this disease, like Chris, seem to not be able to come to terms with it until it's too late.

Fast forward to Easter...
Our church had it's second annual Community Easter Service.  I LOVE these types of services.  There is a ton of work involved but it always pays off.  Anyone who knows me knows that I have been involved in music programs in my churches for years.  Needless to say, I participated with the Praise Team and our Mass Choir for this event.  I am forever self conscious about my body.  I HATE it.  The hardest part of participating in music programs is that I'm out in front of everyone.  There's no blending in, I'm out there.  This year we wore white t-shirts and jeans... VERY UNFLATTERING!  I did not love it. Also, this year I had a solo.  Can you say, NO HIDING?  UGH!

The service was recorded (by my husband and a coworker) and when we got home we started transferring the video to the computer.  Once it was all transferred we watched a few excerpts.  One of those excerpts was my solo and OMG was I mortified by what I saw.  At that moment I was so embarrassed because of how I looked in front of the ENTIRE congregation not only at Easter but every Sunday.  I got a realistic look at myself.

Don't think that I'm only concerned about how I look, because I'm not.  Probably seven-ish years ago, after spending two years trying to conceive, I was diagnosed with Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome.  DEVASTATION!  Through this diagnosis I learned several things about myself.  For starters, I may NEVER be able to get pregnant.  I am more prone to insulin resistance, excessive weight gain, excessive body and facial hair, painful and infrequent periods, depression and the inability to lose weight like everyone else.  The cause of PCOS is unknown and there is no cure or effective treatment.  It is, however, thought that losing weight can have a HUGE impact on the ability to conceive.

Yes, it's been years and Chris and I have known for at least that long that we need to do something but as of April 13, 2012 it all started to change!  It's never too late, right?

Thus, the beginning of our journey!